Wednesday, 22 May 2019

Transforming media depiction of sexual violence

Media reports about sexual violence may be geared towards raising awareness and justice but the images themselves sometimes end up doing damage instead because they reinforce the stereotype of women as “easy prey”, in turn encouraging rape culture. One powerful way to make society view such women as “survivors” and not “victims” is to change the way the media depicts them.

I used to be an activist in the past. After I joined journalism, I have tried to steer clear of activism in order to ensure that as a journalist my work carries minimum bias and that when it does, I make it known. With this mindset, sometimes when things within the media community bother me, I feel perplexed about where to draw the line between carrying on with my job of being a reporter and speaking about issues that affect me as a member of this community.

Insensitive reporting done in the case of incidents of sexual violence had bothered me for a long time. I used to get especially upset by ghastly drawings that were supposed to represent the survivors, where the women seemed to have been robbed not only of their clothes but their dignity. Instead of creating awareness, some of these images actually seemed to titillate. There came a point when I felt that taking up this issue was important because it is necessary to look inwards. My intention was not to fight or blame anyone else but to take responsibility for the profession I was part of. Gender sensitive reporting was not something I only wanted others to do but also wanted to do better myself.

But how could I do something about it? Would anyone read or respond if I sent letters to media houses? Should I write articles on it? Would my attempt be seen as an effort towards censorship? I finally decided to bell the cat with a petition, ‘Set an example by not using disrespectful images of women in sexual violence reporting’. Even then I had to decide who I should address. I thought about the Press Council of India but wondered whether, even if the petition was heard and an advisory issued, it would be effective. I finally decided to write to a particular media house in order to start out small, and I chose Network 18 because it was a major mainstream outlet and its decision could possibly also have an impact on others. 

A scared figure crouching in a corner, a large hand covering a mouth trying to muffle a scream, outstretched arms pleading for help, tattered clothes . . .We have all seen these images that accompany media reports of sexual violence against women. As a woman who has survived sexual harassment like so many others in India and around the world, I have felt insulted looking at these images. I don’t want to be depicted this way,” I said in my petition.

After having sent off the petition, I started garnering people’s support for it. We had online and offline discussions among friends, colleagues, journalists and NGOs over how such images further objectified women, and thereby actually encouraged and did not prevent assault. I read more on the subject to learn how I, while I was at it, could do better reporting on sexual violence as a print and digital journalist. 

When The Assam Tribune invited me to write a short piece on the subject and I shared the article online, it resonated with a lot of people. Germany based Hostwriter, a media platform for cross-border collaborations, also sent in their support for the demand. Whenever I was invited to speak about my campaign or about gender related concerns in general, I got another chance to request people to sign the petition if they agreed with the demand. If I went for media trainings and workshops, I would solicit the suggestions of others. 

I had also been sharing a Hindi translation of the petition in order to reach the maximum number of potential supporters. I was trying to stay prepared for questions around alternatives to current images. Personally, I thought the images of people, especially women, protesting sexual violence, which have already been used by many, could be a powerful example. Such images were not about helplessness but about rage that challenged the oppression. These pictures showed that women are “doers,” not always the “done upon-s.”

The sample images that Breakthrough, an organisation working to end violence against women, had put together for their Redraw Misogyny campaign a few years ago also changed the narrative. Women were illustrated in a realistic way and more space was given to the representational images of harassers who were clearly portrayed as the wrongdoers. 

Some journalists told me they had earlier raised the issue in their newsrooms but not much attention was paid to it. I, too, did not know if Network 18 had even read my petition. There had been no acknowledgement, no “we will look into it,” and so, in my mind, I started feeling that I might have to keep up the campaign for years, and then I might as well try to effect a change in other spaces.

I was least prepared to get an affirmative response from CNN News 18 even before the petition had completed two months of existence. In their response, they promised to clear their database of the older stock images and instead use more neutral visuals. They further added, “We have also let all our reporters, members of our editorial and production teams know how to use images while reporting on sexual violence.” It was a better and quicker response that I had expected and I felt immensely grateful to the 47,000 people who had stood behind the petition with their signatures. Frankly, I had not imagined that so many people would care about the issue.

The fact that not only the media house but so many people responded to this call for change showed that while individual journalists may not have the decision making power that rests with editors or media group owners, when backed by the readers of their reports, they too could play a small part in changing the narrative. As the petitioner, I have been trying to follow up on Network 18’s promise so that I could write to them if I found them using images that could still be problematic. 

Sometimes, when I share these images with other survivors, there are differences of opinion around certain visuals. All this taught me that there is a lot of work to be done in the area of gender sensitive reporting, and especially on the images used with reports on sexual violence. One way to move forward is to keep our ear to the ground and find out how viewers and survivors respond to the same set of images. We could take these images to young boys and men to find out what role the images play in forming perceptions around sexual assault, women and gender equality. There is a long way to go, and I am glad that small beginnings are being made.

First published in Network of Women in Media, India, 23 May 2019.

Sunday, 19 May 2019

On what it takes to puncture a manel and overcome internalised conditioning in a patriarchy

As a journalist, a writer, a poet or as someone invested in gender issues, if I am invited to speak publicly, there is often a pattern to the sequence of events that unfold. There are aspects of internalised conditioning that I have to work against to publicly be as full and true a version of myself as I want to be.

If I am the only woman on what would otherwise have been a manel, I wonder if I have been invited for the sake of tokenism. A grassroots activist organisation called me for their programme once on short notice saying they are all men and that they need “some woman” on stage. At times like these, I sit down with myself to believe that maybe it is some effort, however small, made by the organisers to be diverse. I have to remind myself that what I am going to share comes from the work I have done, however limited, and from my lived experiences. And that since sharing this has resonated with people in the past and encouraged others to speak up, it is important that I continue to do so regardless of the organiser’s agenda in inviting me. In fact recently I came across an excellent tweet where the woman is aghast at being invited as a gender diversity showpiece. Then she remembers how men have been getting so many invites for ever simply by virtue of being men. This calms her, and me, down.

On these public occasions, I remind myself of my school days when I spoke too fast because I was, as so many women are, afraid of taking too much time or space. This was despite encouragement by teachers who had read my articles in the local paper and had thus asked me to speak in the morning assembly. But in writing I could quietly put my thoughts out there and withdraw; in speaking I had to convince myself and a full school playground that my words were worthy of their time. My friends in the audience used to gently tell me that I seemed hurried, and that they would have liked to hear more from me. When I recall this today while being on stage, I slow down and learn to use the time allotted to me, even as I marvel at how most men around me leisurely exceed the time limit. I remember an exceptional case, a poetry event when I used up all my time while the men finished sharing their works in a shorter duration. I look at these instances, or occasions of taking a couple of additional minutes, with a mixture of guilt and embarrassment at having got “carried away”, and exhilaration at having finally claimed my time and space.

Once I am off the stage and if people I do not know come to compliment me on my words, I am reminded of all the times my confidence was labelled as arrogance. I try extra hard to prove to them that I do not think too much of myself. I labour to appear as polite and humble as I feel. From the point of qualifying or rejecting others’ compliments to realising that it is disrespectful both to them and to myself, I have now reached the stage of biting my tongue and saying a tight thank you, and then worrying about whether I would have struck the other person as being too cold.

When it is a man praising me I listen with bated breath hoping he won't ask for my number (unless for a clear, work related purpose). If he doesn’t, I am relieved. If he does, I give it because I do not want to be rude. Later I am angry with myself for buying into the notion that my concern about not being harassed (arising from experience) is less important than a man’s feelings.

The next time it happens I say no, and offer my email instead. The man notes down my digital address and gives me his phone so I can punch in my number, as if he never heard my no. Ironically, my talk at the event where I was the only woman on the panel was on listening to women’s stories rather than imposing our stories on them. The man’s dogged pursuit of my number while ignoring my own consent makes me feel like once again someone is trying to force me to link my Aaadhar number with every shred of my identity. As I wonder if I would have to get a Supreme Court order to make his volatile effervescence subside, my friend approaches me and subtly fixes my sari palla slipping off my shoulders. I am suddenly aware of all the people, all the men around. I am now too tired to think and don’t want to get into an argument so I end up feeding my number. I return home frustrated with myself again for having caved in, for not having stood up tall enough, long enough for myself while I had aimed to do that for other women in my speech. I get some semblance of a closure only when he calls me up later and asks to meet and “just chat about stuff”, and I respond with a terse no and hang up and block his number.

I am a feminist, I am 33, I am called to speak on issues concerning women, I am perceived as bold and outspoken by many. Yet I struggle to occupy space, to take time, to say no without explaining or apologising, to make people believe in my humility. The most taxing part of my feminism is not fighting others but resisting my own conditioning. Through poems I write, plays I act in, reporting I do and books (like The Courage to be Disliked) I read, I am constantly schooling myself that I can be who I want to be, that I do not have to be who I am supposed to be according to gender roles.

So, while meninists would like to believe that our claws are pointed at them, the truth is we are more engrossed in a nail biting battle to peel away our own conditioning. For the longest time, this truth used to piss me off. Eventually, as promised, it has started setting me free because this phenomenon reiterates that patriarchy is not a monster coming at us whose head needs some slaying. It is a claustrophobia inducing tent that covers all of us, getting hotter with global warming, one that needs to be deflated from within. And if I ever get on pins and needles facing it again, I want to prick it right in the gut and say, “Yes, I have a number and no, I won’t give it to you,” and walk away and without stressing about whether my gait would be seen as haughty.

First published in Firstpost, 9 May 2019.

Monday, 6 May 2019


एक उदास कहानी मुझसे छेड़े गए सभी अभियान भुलवा सकती है
हींग के छौँक की महक मुझे कृतज्ञ आँसू रुलवा सकती है
पिछ्ले खोए के लौटने की उम्मीद जगा
मौसम से लड़ कर खिला एक फूल हाथ पकड़ मुझे उठा सकता है
बंद जाली के कोने से घुसा दुष्ट कबूतर
मुझे ढिठाई, बेहयाई के फ़ायदे गिनवा सकता है
लड़के के रोने से मैं दुनिया के खिलाफ़ तलवार साध सकती हूँ
लड़की के हँसने पर मेरी रुकी साँस आज़ाद हो जाती है
दोस्त की माफ़ी मुझे फिर से जिला देती है
टटोलने भर से इनमें से कुछ तो हाथ लग ही जाता है
एक और खेल के लिए मैं फिर तैय्यार हो जाती हूँ

First published in Jankipul, 12 Mar 2019.

Sunday, 5 May 2019

नियम और शर्तें

अगर तुम दोस्ती के लिए भी
गहरी आँखों की शर्त रखो
तो ये समझे रहना
बहुत सीढ़ियाँ उतर तुम पहुँचोगे
उसके घर तक
फिर वहाँ आकर
ऐसी कोई बेवकूफ़ाना हरकत मत कर देना
“लाईट औन कर दें क्या?”
या “तुमने अँधेरा क्यों कर रखा है?”
बैठे रहना जैसे पूरी दुनिया में यही होता आया है
और जैसे तुम समझते हो कि अँधेरे में ही
लोग एक-दूसरे से बात करना सीखते हैं
फिर ये मत कहना, “कहीं बाहर चलें?”
भात और जल्दी में गरम पानी डाल बढ़ाई गई
पनसोर आलू की सब्ज़ी खा लेना
और सो जाना
घड़ी से मत गिनना सुबह होने तक के घंटे
जब वो वापस सीढ़ियाँ चढ़ ऊपर जाने लगे
तुम हल्के से दरवाज़ा लगा
चुपचाप उसके पीछे निकल आना

First published in Jankipul, 12 Mar 2019.


मंच निर्देशन

मैं चाहती हूँ तुम वाक्य की शुरुआत
“सुनो” से करो, जिससे साफ़ हो जाए
ये कहानी मेरे लिए है,
वैसे तो तुम दफ़्तर के जूनियर्स और पार्टियों में
कितना ही ज्ञान बाँच देते हो
उन लोगों से फ़र्क करने के लिए
मुझसे पूछो मेरे काम के बारे में बिना राय दिए,
मेरी मदद माँगो, और अपनी घबराहट का खुलासा करो
लगेगा कुछ बात हुई हमारी,
कि सिर्फ़ बातें बनाकर नहीं चले गए तुम
हमारे मामूली मर जाने के डर से
कितने ही खयाली महल बना डाले हमने
उधर इतने दिनों से टपकता नल
आहत नजरों से मुझे बींधे जा रहा है
आज उसके लिए किसी को बुलाकर ही आते हैं
उसके बाद जाकर कुछ देर पार्क में बैठ जाएँगे
फिर शायद तसल्ली हो
सब कुछ देख ही लिया हमने आख़िर
ज़िंदगी यूँ ही हमारे हाथों से छूटती नहीं जा रही

First published in Jankipul, 12 Mar 2019.

Friday, 3 May 2019


मुझे भागती हुई औरतों के सपने आते हैं
दीवारों को फाँदते, लगातार हाँफते
थाने के सामने दम भर ठहरते
और फिर से भागते,
याद करके, “ओह, इनसे भी तो भागना था”
ये वो सपना नहीं
जिससे उठकर कहा जाए
“शुक्र है, बस एक सपना था,”
ऐसा सच है
जो कई सपनों को लील गया
मैं जानती हूँ मैं वो सब औरतें हूँ
जानती हूँ वो मुझे बचाने के लिए भागती हैं
अब मैं उनके भीतर से लपक
उनके सामने आ जाना चाहती हूँ
देना चाहती हूँ उनको विराम
चाहती हूँ वो मेरी पीठ और कंधों पर
सवार हो जाएँ
मैं उनको लेकर उस दंभ से चलूँ आगे
जिसके खिलाफ़ हमें चेताया गया था
हर बार जब हमने दृढता दिखाई
एक-एक कदम पर हिले धरती
जगाती उन सभी को
जो उसमें ठूँसी गई थीं
उन के दिल पर रखा एक-एक पत्थर फूटे
फाड़ता हुआ कानों पर पड़े परदे
हमारे दाँत मुँह से कहीं आगे तक निकले हों
गर्भावस्था के दौरान किसी कमज़ोरी से नहीं
इस बार
अधिकार से गड़ने को हर लूटे गए निवाले में
आँखों का काजल फैल चुका हो
नज़रबट्टू बन उन गालों पर
जिन पर कालिख फेंकने वो बढ़े थे
जब उनकी दी गई लाली पोतने से
हमने मना कर दिया था
हम अट्टहास करें, भयावह दिखें, औक्टोपस बनें
शरीर से छोड़ते स्याही की पिचकारियाँ
उन पर साधे
जो संग होली खेलने को व्याकुल थे

First published in Jankipul, 12 Mar 2019.

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