I don't want different things in life. I want different lives and to be able to swing between them.

Looking for stories.
One for each day.
In a book or a movie.
To find beginning, middle, end, hope and a hint of magic.

Would be heaven to have the luxury to lock myself in a room and read feverishly. Finding all the words and meaningful sentences that concretise my own garbled thoughts. 'I' seems more and more to be ruining the flavour of a sentence. Reading others who write what you mean(would have liked to mean)affords the simultaneous pleasures of self-effacement and self-indulgence. How I would like to unbear the lightness of being!

Thoughts crawling, wriggling, stretching, sticking their thin necks out to become an 'outpour'. All running together, falling atop each other, 'I first, you second.'wild wild wild. hesitant about audience. grammatical and syntactical inhibitions still not shed. the time in getting to caps lock loses a thread. start anew. always strongly felt artist should't force any claptrap down the audience throat under garb of experiment. also reservations about taking the abstract too far. same feelings about not understanding the absurd enough still trying to use same. why this. and here too. purging

Belief and Technique for Modern Prose

1.Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy

2.Submissive to everything, open, listening

3.Try never get drunk outside your own house

4.Be in love with your life

5.Something that you feel will find its own form

6.Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind

7.Blow as deep as you want to blow

8.Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind

9.The unspeakable visions of the individual

10.No time for poetry but exactly what is

11.Visionary tics shivering in the chest

12.In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you

13.Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition

14.Like Proust be an old teahead of time

15.Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog

16.The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye

17.Write in recollection and amazement for yourself

18.Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea

19.Accept loss forever

20.Believe in the holy contour of life

21.Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind

22.Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better

23.Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning

24.No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge

25.Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it

26.Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form

27.In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness

28.Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better

29.You're a Genius all the time

30.Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

-Jack Kerouac

More than anything,I would like to be at peace with myself.

The romance of solitude is unparalleled.